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I took out a loan to refund them.
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Hey friends, Hannah here 👋 Can I tell you about one of the biggest f&!k-ups of my career? Many years ago, I messed something up for a client. And when I say messed up, I don’t mean I sent an email with the wrong link or missed a deadline. I messed up royally. Badly enough that the right thing to do was refund the client, and it was a lot of money - the most I had ever handled in my entire professional career at once. There was just one slight problem: I didn’t have the money. 😬 I was still relatively early in my business, and I didn’t have a nice emergency fund sitting there waiting for Hannah to make catastrophic business decisions. This project was also paid for almost a year prior, so I'd been living on that payment. But I’d made the mistake. There was no other fix, and the client shouldn’t have had to pay for it. So I took out a loan and refunded them. Financially? Horrible. Emotionally? Also, horrible. 0/10 would not recommend the experience. 😂 But all these years later, I actually think that moment taught me more about being in business than plenty of my successes have. Sometimes integrity is expensive. Pay anyway. It’s easy to be the business owner who cares deeply about their clients when everything is going brilliantly. It’s harder when doing the right thing costs you money, reputation, or anything else. It’s easy to think you’re great at receiving feedback until someone tells you that you’ve actually done a shit job. It’s easy to talk about accountability until you’re the one who needs to say: “Yep. This one’s on me.”
And I think that’s one of the wildly underrated skills of working for yourself: learning to be uncomfortable without immediately trying to escape the discomfort.
You will never have a business where you don't mess up. You will never have a relationship where you don't mess up. You will never have a job where you don't mess up. You won't be known for your mistakes nearly as much as you'll be known and (hopefully) trusted for how you handle them. And over the years, I’ve developed a pretty simple framework for doing exactly that. 𖼆 The ARC rule 𖼆Acknowledge. Repair. Change. Acknowledge: Say what happened clearly. Don’t hide behind a vague “there seems to have been a misunderstanding” if the truth is that you dropped the ball. Sometimes the strongest thing you can say is simply "I got this wrong." Repair: Move quickly from apology to action. Redo the work. Refund the money. Correct the information. Have the awkward conversation. Do whatever you reasonably can to make it right. Change: Figure out what needs to be different next time. Maybe it’s a checklist, clearer client boundaries, a better onboarding process, more realistic deadlines, or simply not relying on your brain to remember 100 different things at once. Because saying “I’m so sorry, it won’t happen again” doesn’t mean much if nothing actually changes. There is some pretty interesting research behind this, too. 🧠 A meta-analysis of 18 studies involving 4731 people found that apologies do help repair trust, and they were most effective when the original mistake was about competence, basically when somebody screwed something up, rather than a situation that made people question their integrity. But I think the even more interesting bit comes from a 2024 study of 1410 people. 🧠 Researchers found that apologies helped rebuild trust largely because they signaled reform, meaning people believed the person or organization was less likely to repeat what they’d done. In fact, that signal of future change mattered more to trust than simply admitting responsibility.
Which is basically why the C in ARC matters so much. Don’t just tell people you’re sorry. ‼️ A quick pause: You may have noticed a few sponsored slots in my newsletter lately. I only feature publications I read and love, like Morning Brew below, and I get paid when you click, even if you don’t sign up! So if you have a second, a simple click on the ad below directly supports my independent writing and free resources. Thank you 😊 👀 Also... stop apologizing for things that aren’t mistakesThere is another side to all this, especially in service-based businesses, where I see people apologizing CONSTANTLY (hello, this has been me, and I am also British, so I know this well). “Sorry to bother you.” “Sorry for following up.” “Sorry, can I ask a question?” “Sorry, here’s my invoice.” Please stop 😭 Save apologies for situations where you’ve actually done something that requires one. If a client is waiting while you investigate something, “Thank you for your patience” works way better than repeatedly apologizing. If you need clarification, ask for clarification. If someone owes you money, follow up on the invoice. If you have a boundary, communicate the boundary. Being conscientious is lovely, but making yourself smaller every time you communicate is not professionalism. And when you have actually fucked up? ARC it. Acknowledge what happened. Repair what you can. Change something so you’re less likely to do it again. I trust myself a hell of a lot more today because I’ve seen myself mess things up before. I’m still here, the business is still here, and I learned something. Turns out you can fuck up pretty spectacularly and still go on to build something you’re very proud of. 🏆 THIS WEEK IN THE VIRTUAL EXCELLENCE ACADEMYSpeaking of building things you’re proud of, there have been some seriously awesome wins inside the Virtual Excellence Academy lately, and I have to brag about these members for a minute. 🎉 In come the wins!
AND QUIT HER DAY JOB. 🎉 What I love about these is that they’re not all just “I landed a VA client!” wins. The VEA might be where someone learns how to build a sustainable VA or freelance business, but it's also SO much more. Once you start, new doors open that you didn't know existed. A $2k package. Speaking opportunities. Awards. Board positions. Building software. Launching the business that’s been sitting in your head for five years. This is the good stuff. 🎉 (psst.. you can get on the VEA waitlist here) 📅 EVENTS HAPPENING THIS WEEKWe have two VERY good sessions happening this week, one you can join wherever you are, and one exclusively for VEA members. 🎥 TOMORROW: Get Clients With Webinars for VAs & FreelancersThis one is free and open to everyone, and I really don’t want you to miss it. I’m co-hosting it with Simone Vincenzi, a webinar and conversion expert who has run more than 1,000 live presentations and webinars and helped 1,500+ businesses use them to generate clients and sales. And webinars are a wildly underused client-getting strategy for VAs and freelancers. Think about it. Instead of being one of 100 people replying to a job post, you can get potential clients into a room, teach them something useful, demonstrate exactly what you know, and give them a reason to want to work with YOU. Simone will teach us why webinars work so well, why so many fail to convert, how to choose the right topic and content, and how to turn attendees into paying clients without making everyone want to crawl out of their own skin from the sales pitch. 😂 I’ve worked with Simone personally, and he’s not only an incredible mentor who seriously knows his stuff, but he’s also just a great human. Tuesday, August 25 at 11 am CST, 90 minutes, completely free 🛠️ WEDNESDAY: Build Better Client Experiences: Portals, Apps & No-Code ToolsThis is an exclusive VEA member training with Gareth Pronovost, founder of GAP Consulting. Gareth is teaching members how to take a client’s needs and turn them into a polished portal or lightweight app using tools like Airtable, Fillout, Softr, and newer AI app builders, without unnecessarily overcomplicating the build. He’ll walk through his six-step process from scoping through launch, build a live portal, show how to decide which tools actually make sense for the project, and show members how to use Claude to quality-check AI-built apps before anything reaches a client. Members are also getting his Scope of Work template, Six-Step Framework guide, and QC checklist to use afterward. This is exactly the kind of skill that can take you from “I know how to use some tools” to “I can design and build solutions for businesses,” which is a considerably more valuable place to be. Wednesday, August 26 at 11:30 am CST, exclusively inside the VEA. Members, please see the events calendar or the events tab in the group to RSVP! This is why I keep banging on about the community being so much more than the course itself. VEA members have lifetime access, which means long after they’ve worked through the curriculum, they’re still coming back for trainings like these, coworking, AMAs, peer support, opportunities, and new skills that keep their businesses moving forward. 👀 Want in next time?The Virtual Excellence Academy reopens in late September, and if you’ve been thinking about becoming a well-paid, in-demand VA or freelancer, get yourself on the waitlist now. Waitlist members get: ✨ Guaranteed access when we reopen
See you in the next edition! Hannah
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🧠 Unconventional Excellence
An education in doing life differently, with intelligent, actionable weekly commentary on freelancing, work, money, lifestyle, travel, and culture. Trusted by 25k+.
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Hey there, Hannah here :) I’ll let you in on a secret: one of my favorite ways to build trust, showcase expertise, and land clients is through webinars. In fact, you may have even attended one of mine in the past - heyyy! The thing is, most freelancers and VAs never even think of webinars as a client-getting strategy. They see them as something only coaches or product-based businesses do. But the truth is that a simple, well-structured webinar can be one of the most powerful ways to show...